No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
