just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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