Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
