they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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