could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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