Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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