never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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