hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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