look no pants
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its about making memories worth repressing
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
