is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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