Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
