I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
