Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
