great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
