Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
