that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize