so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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