Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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