before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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