Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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