well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
