I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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