Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
