mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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