i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
