we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
