this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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