My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?