Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.