i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
