Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
