my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
