well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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