You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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