what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
