So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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