wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
