have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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