Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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