On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
