I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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