just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize