We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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