Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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