I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
