well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
