dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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