Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
