we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
