You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
