im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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