just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize