I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
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Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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