I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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