Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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