what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
