Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
