I wish I only lived at night.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
