If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I'm really busy with my period
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