They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
