Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
