I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
