i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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