We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
